A few weeks ago I put out a feeler on facebook and asked the general public about learning what it takes to be a successful person in terms of their own training. After a series of 20 interviews that I had conducted on the phone, I came across something that struck a chord with me on a personal level. Of the people that were experiencing difficulties reaching their desired personal records in their lifts, physique goals, or even gaining the type of momentum they needed to , they all were experiencing the exact same problem.
Today, I want to talk to you about this problem, and how pervasive this problem can become if we allow it to plant a seed in our mind. The good news is that this problem, like other problems, has a solution. The key to success, be it in your lifts, how well you perform, how healthy you eat, are all determined by what you believe about yourself. Last week we talked about the narrative we tell ourselves daily, and today, I want to dive into WHY we may be telling ourselves this narrative.
The Problem: The Unworthy Belief System
Success in your training and your health is contingent on the relationship you have with yourself. Read that again. The very dream you wish to bring to life, the very goal you wish to achieve, the very lifestyle you wish to have is determined by the relationship you have with yourself. “Self Love” seems to be a buzz term in the fitness world, and we are often taught that we are to love ourselves in the most radical way to reap the strong and healthy life we wish to live.
Because I like to play devil’s advocate, let me pose a series of questions that will flip this entire notion over on it’s head. What if you struggle with loving yourself in the first place? What if you feel unworthy of the life you are trying live? What if you have experienced an event in your life that disrupted the very sense of your own personal strength? These are very important questions at stake, and allow me to give you some examples of what I am talking about here.
I was on call with a client months ago who was working with me towards her own weightloss goals. She had mentioned to me that she was struggling with a number of issues sticking to her nutritional plan and training routine. “I have yo-yoed my way through life” she told me, and she had confessed that she had tried a number of different exercise programs and diets one after the other after the other but could never stick to it. On one particular night we were talking about where her struggle with her weight had become a problem. According to my client, she had been bullied quite terribly as a middle school student for being out of shape, and slower than most of her soccer team mates, which made her feel shamed and worthless. The bullying had planted a seed of unworthiness in her mind, and later in life she would try one thing after another to find her sense of self worth in a lean body. The unworthy thoughts were still there from years worth of verbal abuse, which would explain the constant yo-yo effect. If you don’t believe you are worthy of having your health because of believing the lies that other people have told you, your efforts will only get you half way to where you wish to be, or perhaps they will have you moving in reverse.
There are other examples of this too. I know a number of people who have trained for major powerlifting competitions, and on some occasions, they have missed their lifts. While some willingly returned to their training to refine the lifts at hand, others did not. The failed attempt ruffled these people’s feathers a bit too much, and a strong hold of self doubt had grown in their minds. The mental trap on this case is the unworthy feelings that grew from the failed competition. “Better to not attempt, then risk failing all together, because that would royally suck”, or so the internal dialog goes.
Breaking the Cycle of Self Defeat: The Opposite Drill
I am convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that training to be your healthiest and strongest self starts with your imagination. I am giving you all a homework assignment today, and I hope you take this to heart. If you are struggling with feelings of unworthiness, self doubt, or utter frustrations with where you are in life, physically write out those negatives thoughts on paper. Write out everything you are unhappy about, and dig deep into where these thoughts are stemming from. On another sheet of paper, physically write out the opposite of everything you have written on the negative paper. Write the opposing, positive narrative in PRESENT TENSE. Writing out your positive narrative will start to imbed in your mind that you ARE WORTHY of the very goals you wish to attain, the very healthy life you wish to live. Place the positive sheet of paper somewhere where you can see it daily (my own list is on my work desk) and be sure to read this aloud several times a day.
Last up (my personal favorite part). Set the negative sheet of paper ON FIRE. Release all that negative energy into the universe, and let the entire action be a representation of starting a brand new era of your own strength.
I am writing this post today in light of the 1 year anniversary of something that I experienced that totally tripped up my own line of thinking. Speaking from personal experience, I had experienced an event that made me question who I was, what I wanted out of life, and where I was destined to go to further my own career. It has taken me an entire year to re-program my own brain to tap into the very power of my own personal strength, but I am forever fortunate to have the support and encouragement from fitness professionals and very close friends who have walked me along the way. Self doubt, feelings of unworthiness, and failed attempts at success can cause us to stop ourselves dead in our tracks. But I want you to remember something, dear reader. I want you to remember something a very dear friend reminded me of just a few weeks ago.
You are a POWER HOUSE!
For more information on how you can unravel your thoughts and become unleash your super human potential, please grab a copy of David Whitley’s “Super Human You” by clicking this link. Should you need additional help and coaching to help you eat smart, train hard, and enjoy your life, please send me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and request a free consultation today!
Foster a healthy relationship with yourself, and watch your world radiate it’s love back to you. You’re worth it! You are a Power House! Don’t ever forget that <3